Long Live the Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m actually starting to miss the gym. I’ve been getting in sporadic at-home workouts whenever I can, but it’s not the same. My rapidly atrophying muscles can’t handle much more of this. There are only so many long, meandering bike rides a human being can take. The gains, man! They’re all gone.

Well, hot on the heels of New York City’s seemingly ill-advised decision to allow select gyms to open once again, I’ve got a way better solution to your workout-related woes than hopping on a treadmill that reeks of rubbing alcohol and trying not to breathe too hard through your mask. Instead, invest in a bunch of long-sleeve tees, the surest way to hide the sudden disappearance of any and all of your gains, and then lean all the way into the look. Life’s too short to be out here risking it all to get your sets in, and right now, the long-sleeve tee is looking like a fucking godsend.

Me, I’m partial to the type that looks like you accidentally let a toddler with a fresh pack of crayons loose in your closet and then threw on the results and headed out the door without a moment’s hesitation. In other words, the wilder the better. Because the best long-sleeve tees available right now—the ones that incorporate savvy, socially conscious messaging, grail-worthy graphics, or groovy, psychedelic color ways (and sometimes all three!)—could double as wearable works of art I wouldn’t blame you in the slightest for framing and hanging somewhere prominent in your apartment.

C’mon, man. You don’t actually need to work that body to finely honed perfection—all you need to do is cover it in clothes so good you’ll still want to leave them on even when it comes time to, y’know, take ’em off. (You lucky dog, you!) I’d way rather be straight dripping than, ah, actually dripping all over the free weights section in the back of some sad, dimly lit gym. Fuck exercise, bro, because I stay flexing either way. You don’t want this smoke. (You do, however, want to cop some long-sleeve tees, right? Hop to it, guy. Clock’s ticking.)

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Adventure Printed Cotton-Jersey T-Shirt

Adidas Originals mrporter.com

$40.00

Turns out the Three Stripes makes a whole lot of shit you should be wearing even when the only activity on the agenda is cheffing up impressively big fits. 

Faith L/S Tee

Mota motanewyork.com

$42.99

For the record, the front reads “I have more faith in my drug dealer than this government” and BIG same. 

Awakening Tee

The Aware Brand theawarebrand.com

$45.00

Wake up, son. It’s time to get this paper!  

Silent Spring Long-Sleeve Graphic Tee

NOAH nordstrom.com

$54.00

A graphic tee inspired by Rachel Carson’s pioneering environmental-advocacy tome Silent Spring. (Look it up, dude.) 

Printed Cotton-Jersey T-Shirt

Stüssy mrporter.com

$55.00

Real men wear purple, too. 

Bound Upwards Black Long-Sleeve Tee

ASYSTEM x Studio Institute asystem.com

$55.00

Limited edition, made in sunny L.A. Need I say more? 

Pleasures Print T-Shirt

Billionaire Boys Club farfetch.com

$97.00

BBC doing BBC things. 

Think Big Long-Sleeve Tee

Supervsn Studios supervsn.com

$98.00

Think big, baby! 

Printed Cotton-Jersey T-Shirt

Aries mrporter.com

$115.00

Bold block lettering to keep those late-summertime blues at bay. 

Morning Sun Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

One Of These Days oneofthesedaysco.com

$120.00

When I said “wearable works of art,” this is what I meant. 

Abstract Graphic Print Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

Comme Des Garçons Shirt farfetch.com

$137.00

This too. 

Logo-Print Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

Martine Rose farfetch.com

$161.00

Martine Rose keeps it simple and straight to the point. 

Evangelion Printed Cotton-Jersey T-Shirt

Flagstuff mrporter.com

$160.00

Where my real anime heads at? 

Graphic Print Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

Telfar farfetch.com

$176.00

The brand behind the internet’s favorite bag also makes a hell of a tee. 

Skeleton Print Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

*EVAE+ farfetch.com

$204.00

CURRENT MOOD.  

Slogan Print Organic Cotton Top

Phipps farfetch.com

$212.00

Don’t get it twisted: Smokey the Bear was always a style icon. 

Glass Photo-Print Long Sleeved T-Shirt

A-COLD-WALL* farfetch.com

$240.00

A t-shirt that looks like a final thesis on display at a prestigious visual arts program in the very best way possible. 

Ashbury Printed Tie-Dyed Cotton-Jersey T-Shirt

KAPITAL motanewyork.com

$42.99

Far out, maaan

Layered Logo-Print T-Shirt

Off-White farfetch.com

$330.00

A twofer, this time of team Off-White. 

Logo-Print T-Shirt

Heron Preston farfetch.com

$360.00

A Heron Preston production you won’t want to miss. 

Double Stripe Layered Long Sleeve T-Shirt

MARNI nordstrom.com

$450.00

Two (extremely cool) shirts for the price of one!

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Avidan Grossman is the Style eCommerce Editor at Esquire, covering men’s fashion, shoes, grooming, and accessories.

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Source : Esquire