16 Halloween Costumes So Easy You Might Actually Have to Dress Up

So you’re what most people might call—and I’m speaking technically here—a “real lazy motherfucker,” huh? Don’t even sweat it, dude. Acceptance is the first step towards change. In fact, I’ll do you one better: don’t change. At all. Embrace that shit. Revel in it. Being all industrious and whatnot isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. You’re telling me you want to be an adult-sized version of the kid reminding the teacher about assigning homework all the damn time? Do your part to help destigmatize laziness today!

Honestly, I’m not even sure I’m cool calling it “laziness”. Why not say you “thrive on a deadline?” Or you’re “calm under pressure?” Or, hell, your “creative process tends to benefit with a time-crunch as a catalyst?” What I’m saying is, if you already know you’re about to completely blank on picking out a costume this year, there’s no shame in saving the whole sordid ordeal until the last minute. (On the contrary—it would, as the kids say, be very on brand.) And if you can’t be bothered to put in the digital legwork tracking down a prize-winning get-up or DIY-ing one yourself, lean all the way into the ethos that got you this far in life and wing the damn thing. (Using any of the options handily included below, naturally.)

Fuck your overzealous holiday spirit, you bozos. Why don’t you take your sad, highly-prepared selves and slink on out of here? Ain’t nobody got time for that. Talk to me on, like, the evening of October 30th.

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Sherlock Holmes Cap

Jacobson Hat Company amazon.com

$5.93

The newly revamped Netflix version of the famed detective might not rock one on the regular, but for a Sherlock Holmes costume all you really need is a double-billed cap for everyone to get the bit. 

Reflective Vest

Neiko amazon.com

$7.99

Hard hat not included.  

Nerd Accessory Kit

Rubie’s amazon.com

$14.95

$10.69 (28% off)

No offense to Harold.  

Loose Glitter

Anastasia Beverly Hills sephora.com

$15.00

A little dash of Euphoria-inspired eye glitter never hurt anybody. 

Home & Away Headband

Nike amazon.com

$15.95

Make like your favorite athlete (or your least favorite colleague on any given video call) and embrace the headband. 

Stuffed Tiger

VIAHART amazon.com

$16.99

Nothing but respect for MY tiger king.  

Classic Cuff Beanie

Los Angeles Apparel losangelesapparel.net

$18.00

Where’s Waldo who?

White Walker Mask

George Bogle amazon.com

$19.99

Sure, the show is long over (spoiler alert!) but that doesn’t mean you can’t reminisce about your favorite Westeros memories with a commemorative…White Walker mask?

Rimless Glasses

Zenni Optical zennioptical.com

$25.95

This is how I win. 

Skeleton Onesie

BoohooMan boohooman.com

$27.00

A scary(ish) onesie that doubles as ideal WFH fare. 

Thanos Gloves

FAIRZOO amazon.com

$28.96

Tired: Hulk hands: Wired: Thanos hands. 

Blue Moon Denver Long Sleeve Tee

Urban Outfitters urbanoutfitters.com

$39.00

A sure winner, especially when paired with this. 

Sturgis Crushable Wool Hat

Stetson llbean.com

$89.00

The choose-your-own-adventure headwear style from a legendary hat-maker that doesn’t mess around. 

Waterproof Hooded Raincoat

RAINS nordstrom.com

$155.00

Do you like Huey Lewis and The News?

MA-1 Flight Jacket

Alpha Industries amazon.com

$160.00

The jacket that’s waaay more than just a costume. 

Michael Jordan Hardwood Classics Authentic Jersey

Mitchell & Ness nba.com

$299.99

Be like Mike.  

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Source : Esquire