Responsible parties: You don’t have to buy an iPhone

Welcome to another edition of Unreasonable Expectations Theater, a wandering production that somehow always seems to feature Apple quite heavily.

Writing for Fast Company, Mark Wilson says “Dear Apple and Google: It’s time to stop releasing a new phone every year.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Peter.)

The Macalope is old enough to remember when Apple was being chastised for only releasing new phones once a year. Which isn’t that astounding because that was like five years ago.

You used to need a new smartphone every year or two.

Did you?

It’s hard to remember now, but upgrading to a new generation of phone once meant gaining access to crucial features: The internet became browsable…

It became faster. Even on EDGE you could browse the internet if you didn’t mind waiting.

…photos became legible…

He’s trying so hard to get you to buy his premise.

[nods vigorously] Yes, Mark, early smartphone pictures were just an illegible blur of colors!

[whispers] Quick, let’s get out of here.