Every family has its own holiday traditions. Dad carves the turkey. Or maybe mom carves the turkey. Or maybe mom’s annual new friend carves the turkey. I don’t know your life. There’s a guy on the Esquire staff whose family makes lasagna for Thanksgiving and calls it a damn side dish, so there’s really no limitation on what your holiday can look like. But perhaps most endearing are the traditions that you come to find out no one else does. With that, let’s talk about cranberry sauce.
As we all know, canned cranberry sauce is the superior form of the Thanksgiving dessert masquerading as a side dish. That’s just fact. But when you pop the top off a can of the jelly substance, it’s anyone’s guess as to how it will actually come out of the can. After some brief polling, I’ve found that in most households, there’s a lot of shaking involved. Even some hitting. Not at my Thanksgiving table, though. From a young age, I had a job. Right after the turkey came out of the oven but just before the blessing, I was given the task of blowing the cranberry sauce.
This is, without a doubt, the most low-lift and foolproof way to get cranberry sauce out of the can for equal slices, without any tears. I, too, want you to blow your cranberry sauce this season, so here’s the simple, three-step process:
- Take the top of the can off with a can opener.
- Flip that bad boy over and stab a small hole in the bottom with a knife. Twist the knife so that you open the hole just a bit.
- From there, put the closed end of the can with the hole to your lips and blow.
The small amount of air in the can, along with the double opening, unseals the vacuum, and the cranberry blob shoots right out the other side in one piece. Does it all sound vaguely sexual? Sure. But you no longer have to look like a dumbass, shaking a can of cranberry like a low-budget Shake Weight.
Everyone has their own customs to follow on Thanksgiving, but maybe the good work of my family can overlap with yours. At minimum, you can ask your least favorite family member to do it and make fun of them after—oh… I think I get it now.
Source : Esquire