Last week, I got kind of mad at Justin Bieber about an outfit, and it felt pretty weird. I’ve gotten used to a certain sequence of events: Justin Bieber shows up in public somewhere, he is photographed—usually dressed a certain way—that photograph crosses my desk, and I write a few hundred words too many about it.
The problem last week wasn’t that he was dressed a different way. It was that the different way that we was dressed felt so very inauthentic to the nearly two years of middle-finger-up, sleazy style I’d become accustom to praising. The mid-90s try-hard of it all left me salty, but I didn’t lose hope. As I explained then:
I miss the middle finger of it all. And though our boy has indeed missed that westward turn, the road is still there. I have faith his hands are still on the wheel. Here’s to hoping his navigation sets him back on course.
Today, it came to my attention that not only did he get back on course—he evolved. This, his fit of choice for an appearance on Ellen, was not traditionally sleazy. But it was a choice, and one step in an evolution I can get behind.
My soccer career was short lived—when I was put in at goalie, I was more interested in tangling myself in the net than stopping any incoming shots—but all my friends who kept on with the sport through the early aughts had a heavy artillery of Umbro. Back then, the nylon of it all was fairly dominant; we all embraced “windbreaker” in one way or another. Now, in the second decade of the 2000s, those early aughts stylings are having a moment once more, and Bieber’s full-kit execution is cyclical fashion put in perfect practice.
Where last week’s episode brought us Justin Bieber in ’90s-skate-bro cosplay, The Ellen Fit™️ proposed thoughtful progress for Bieber. It’s not loud, but you can hear it. It’s not complicated, but it’s interesting. And even though it’s not really sleazy, it’s adjacent, and that adjacency is something regular guys like you and I can pull inspiration from.
So, where normally I might caution you from attempting to pay homage, here I say go forth, young sleazehead. There’s never been a better time to embrace the full-kit tracksuit. No longer is this fit reserved for mobsters and pre-game warmups. Take it to the streets, spend your Saturday in it, pair it with your favorite sneakers. Most importantly, wear a pair of shorts underneath—you never know when someone’s going to challenge you to 1-on-1.
Feel the need for more sleaze? Grow out that crusty mustache, turn your snapback backwards, and you’ll be whispering “Bieber” to the world in no time. We’ll be here at HQ, tipping our cap and waiting for him to present himself yet again.
Source : Esquire